I’m not exactly sure how to start this one off, but it’s apparent to me that despite how many times I write or say something… I always need a reminder to remember what’s important in life. Maybe you do too.

Yesterday I found out that a friend of mine, Ralph, had passed away back in August of 2020. While I was extremely sad to read the news on his Facebook wall, I was more upset with myself that I hadn’t put in the effort to keep up with him and what was going on in his life. He died almost a year and a half ago and I was JUST finding out now… so I was having thoughts about even being able to call him a friend at that point. There was an instant feeling of guilt that was driven by feelings of not being there for him, and being too consumed with what was going on in my life that didn’t give me the time or energy to be there in his. The reality is, we all have a lot going on (especially over the last two years) and it’s almost impossible to keep up with everybody in your life. You’re going to have people that you talk to often, and you’re going to have people that you don’t. I’ve done a lot of battling myself over the last 24 hours but I truly want to believe that this doesn’t make you any less of a friend or important to someone based on the frequency of how often you talk to one another. Although, it is a good reminder that if you do value someone and care about them, maybe this is the nudge you need to shoot them a text or give them a call to finally catch up. It’s sad that someone had to die for me to be reminded that we don’t have unlimited amounts of time on this planet… I’ve written about it many times, but it’s still hard to always act on it when life is constantly throwing new obstacles our way. I think it’s something we all need to put a little more effort into daily.

Let me take a minute to tell you about Raphael, or better known as Ralph around these parts. I met him back in 2017 when a co-worker brought me to a Lakers game and he was in the Lakers box with us. Ralph worked for Jesse Buss, one of the owners of the Lakers, and attended most of the games. We started to chat and instantly I felt a warmth and positive vibe from this guy. This may be a weird thing to mention about somebody, but in a city that has a lot of people who only look out for themselves, it was refreshing to meet someone so genuine. We would end up going out with Ralph after the game, and it was there that we got to chat even more about what we were both up to. Ralph had been working as Jesse’s assistant as a way to get his foot in the door with Lakers basketball. He had played himself through college and was passionate about the sport, and one day wanted to become a talent scout for the Lakers. From there, we would keep in contact every few months and either grab dinner or he’d give me free tickets to come back to the Lakers box with a friend as an excuse to see each other. I’d try to hook him & Jesse up with clothing as much as I could, but this was never the basis of our relationship. He was always asking how I was doing, curious to what I was trying to achieve, and supportive during both the good and bad times that we had going on. The last time I saw Ralph was in November of 2019 when he invited me to come see my hometeam (and champions at the time), the Toronto Raptors. We had a pretty serious conversation as he mentioned to me that he was going in for surgery soon and had to start on chemo. I told him that I’d be there for anything he needed, and sent him some clothes that Christmas to try and brighten his spirits. Despite having such a large surgery looming, he never stopped smiling. He was always looking out for others and even with how much he probably had going on in his life, he was still inquisitive to what was happening with me and how I was doing overall. We would talk a little bit in the new year when I would check up on him to see how chemo was going, and he wanted to hear how business was affected by the COVID pandemic. Unfortunately that would be our last text exchange, and then life kind of happened where both of us didn’t reach out. I would think about him from time to time, but I would just tell myself that I would follow up with him next week and never got around to it. I finally texted him in December of last year and the messages went green, so I just assumed that he had changed his number and I would follow up on Facebook when I had more time (he wasn’t big on social and didn’t have anything except a barely active FB profile). Yesterday, I thought of him again and decided it was time to reach out, but then it was too late. I went on his profile to read the outpouring of tributes and my heart absolutely sunk. The world lost such a bright star, and someone who provided so much love to those around him. I would never get the chance to catch up with him again.

This is my reminder… and yours too. I know it’s easy to put things off until tomorrow, or it’s easy to take things for granted, but we really need to try not to. I’m not sure if there is something you have been wanting to do lately and just haven’t done, but take this nudge from me to start that. Perhaps it isn’t something and rather it’s someone you’ve been meaning to talk to, or wanted to tell them something. Do it. I know it’s easy to gloss over this because who the hell am I to tell you what to do with your life, but I guarantee that taking my advice is probably not going to be that bad. Worst case, you probably will be no different than before you read this. Best case, you’re going to make your day so much better… maybe even your life.

Also, be kind. Again, easy to read and sometimes more difficult to practice, but Ralph was battling cancer and STILL was able to put a huge smile on his face every time I saw him. While we didn’t talk every single week, he always made sure to check in on me and provide a little support when he could even though the man had his own mountains he was climbing. It really doesn’t take a ton of effort to be understanding and nice to those around us and who knows, you may impact them even more than you thought you could. I will always remember the positivity that Ralph was able to provide in my life, and from reading his FB wall, the lives of many others in his community. He left the world a better place than he found it, and for that I am so grateful to have experienced a little part of that.

As sad as this situation is to reflect on, it’s an important reminder to really take advantage of the one life that we get to live. We’re the only ones who can choose how we live it, so why not to the fullest? Why not full of love, and with the people we love? Doing the things we love? I may just be rambling at this point but I really hope there’s something we are all able to take away from these random thoughts of mine. I really hope that my words can encourage you to take the first step to doing what you always wanted.