So I was going to start this post off with the definition of Independence… but it keeps redirecting me back to the word Independent. Let’s go with that then, according to Merriam-Webster:
Independent – not requiring or relying on something else
adjective – in·de·pen·dent
For a long time, I thought I was pretty independent due to the nature of my upbringing. There have been many situations where I have had to fend for myself both financially and emotionally where most others would have support if going through something similar. I only had my Grandmother growing up and was never a popular kid to have a lot of friends either. Due to this, I convinced myself after entering University and beyond that I was an independent and strong individual that had a good grasp on life and didn’t need others to survive on this planet. While this statement is in accordance with the definition of the word according to Webster’s dictionary, I now can only believe myself to a certain point. I am not as Independent as I thought I was, and it took a few slaps in the face over the last 12 months to realize this.
I’ve covered a lot of what I had gone through in 2014 (and even 2015 has brought its challenges) that brought me to this realization, so I won’t dwell on the events too much. What I do want to discuss is how I am working towards truly becoming someone who doesn’t have to rely on others according to the above definition.
I’ve always been a very social person who loves to go out and be with others, regardless of what we are doing. As I grow older though, it is becoming more difficult to find the time to hang out with friends as we used to due to various factors such as a spouse, work, or other reasons. This past winter was the first time in my three years of living in Toronto that I had consecutive Friday’s or Saturday’s of staying in and doing nothing. Additionally, I started a consulting job back in February that requires me to work from my condo which removed the social aspect of walking into an office five days a week. This combination was definitely overwhelming as I averaged about 6 out of 7 days of not leaving my condo or seeing another person during that month (with the exception of Grocery Shopping). If I didn’t have Cosmos, I may have gone crazy! At first this was very upsetting and I was constantly trying to make plans to little success. My friends were busy and I hadn’t had a girlfriend in 6 months. As time went on though, it became easier to handle as I figured that if I didn’t like my current situation then it was up to me to change it. How? Start going out and doing things by yourself. While the thought of it was a bit scary, I felt it was definitely needed if I was truly going to claim that I am this strong and independent character.
The results? So far so good. I’ve gone for walks to explore the city, I went and saw my first solo movie (Fast & The Furious 7), and I attended the Love Art 2015 Fair at the Exhibition. I plan on having dinner by myself in the coming weeks, exploring more of Toronto this summer, and possibly even taking a trip outside of the country later this year. I will write a short blog about these separately as I have some cool photos to share from the walks & the Art show and don’t want to make this post longer than it already is!
Oh, and by no means am I trying to advocate someone to become anti-social either. There is a fine balance of being able to handle your own problems and making the best of situations but also realizing that you can’t do everything and need a little help sometimes. Plus, playing Halo by yourself is cool and all… but playing with a group of friends with beer & pizza is great. Chirping them when you destroy them? Priceless.
UPDATE – As promised, I have uploaded some pictures of my adventures so far! Check them out here
https://atomic-temporary-80621957.wpcomstaging.com/events/