I find myself dealing with unemployment for a second time in over two and a half years and let me tell you that the first time still doesn’t prepare you for if/when it happens again. Being laid off is an incredibly difficult experience for many reasons, and I wanted to take a minute to discuss my (second) journey as I know there are a lot of others in the same boat right now.

Let me start off by describing what unemployment is not. It’s NOT a vacation. While I have had the chance to enjoy some downtime and get back to writing, gaming, and working out… it’s not by choice. I’m making the best of my situation but that’s also because I am fortunate enough to have saved for such a circumstance and don’t have to worry (yet) about paying my bills. Not everybody is going to be in the same boat and the act of getting a regular paycheck may be the difference between putting food on the table and not eating. If you know someone in your life who is unemployed, please try to refrain from making comments that idolize their ‘copious amounts of free time’ or suggesting they are on vacation. It’s not a fun time regardless of your situation.

Unemployment is NOT a blessing in disguise. I’ve had many friends tell me that finishing with Netflix was the end of one chapter and that I’m about to start an even better chapter with my next gig. While that may happen, I also was very happy at Netflix and finally found a career in which I was motivated to do great work but also allowed to balance my personal life and enjoy that while making a great wage. It literally had everything I had looked for in a job for many years, so ending there was not something that I take lightly. I do plan on making the best of it and giving my all into whatever comes next for me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t miss what I had.

Unemployment IS stressful. Sure, everybody is going to have their own perception and handle it differently, but I have found it to be a very challenging experience that has left me uncomfortable and feeling low at various points throughout the past few months. While I have savings, it’s a horrible feeling to be eating away at them with no known date of when that is going to stop. On top of that, the amount of job rejections I’ve received is enough to deflate anyone’s ego, especially for jobs that I am overqualified for. The way I would describe the last few months is that my life seems to be on pause. While I know that it isn’t, there are a lot of things that I normally like to enjoy or do and can’t as they fuel my anxiety since I can’t think about anything except the cost and how much of my emergency funds will be gone if I do these things, leading to a shorter window of time that I can sustain myself for. I realize that I was living a fairly privileged life, so things like traveling or collecting rare Pokemon cards are not necessarily routine for every person, but I can only imagine that others may share the same type of anxiety for anything that costs money in general. Life isn’t cheap nowadays.

I also worry about my career. What if I have to take a demotion & pay decrease just to land something? Why am I being rejected for roles that I know I am qualified for? What if I am not as good as I thought I was? These are just a few of the many types of thoughts that go through my head daily about my situation. The fact is, I’ve technically been job hunting since December as I had an early warning that my time with Netflix would be coming to an end after March. It hasn’t been easy in the job market. I have applied to over 100 roles in the last 6 months (maybe even more) and I’ve had interviews with maybe 10% of those companies. On top of that, here are a few examples of how I’ve been treated by companies in that time:

• One company engaged me in February, put me through multiple interviews, told me they had gone with other individuals but then quickly followed up to say the role was on pause, re-engaged me in April, put me through more interviews (total of 7) including bringing me onsite for back to back sessions, and then waited almost 3 weeks to tell me that my “background doesn’t align” with what they are looking for
• Another company put me through multiple interviews in which I was given a ton of positive feedback, including being called a ‘unicorn’ and a ‘perfect match’ for what they were looking for… only to be ghosted and the role reposted twice since
• I was referred to another company by a leader at Netflix whom I helped out and had a great first interview with, only to be told that the CEO doesn’t want to meet with me for the second round because he wants someone with 15 years experience and I only have 13

While I know that these are a reflection of the individuals/companies hiring and not myself, it’s incredibly difficult not to take the constant rejections personally which causes me to really question my ability to be a great marketer. I have days when I feel extremely confident in my abilities, and there are other days when I wonder if I am a fraud. It’s a roller coaster of emotions.

I’m thankful to have a great group of friends, family, and my girlfriend, who have been extremely supportive during this transition… but it hasn’t always been easy with them either. There are days that I just want to hide away because my ego feels ashamed of my situation, and I feel like I can’t live up to other’s expectations of me. The truth is, the genuine people in your life will be there for you no matter what, and sometimes I need a reminder of that. However, I have noticed that not everybody knows how to handle talking with someone who is unemployed, and this can be frustrating to someone in my situation as people tend to share what some call ‘toxic positive platitudes” that honestly add to the stress rather than help with it. Here are just a few things that have been said to me in the last few months about what I mean by toxic positivity:

• “You’ll get another job in no time, don’t worry about it. Just enjoy the free time while you have it”
• “All these rejections are just life’s way of redirecting you to where you are meant to be”
• “You should just do your own thing and start a business or consulting”
• “Your next job is going to be even better… you’ll see”

While I know that everybody means well when they say things like these, I don’t know if they are truly understanding the gravity of what they are saying. Yes, I will get another job, but it’s unfair to assume a timeline or put an expectation that it will be soon. It might not be; this is one of the worst job markets we’ve seen in a while, and it’s also hard to enjoy my free time when I am worried about paying my bills and whether my career is going to take a step backward because of my situation. No, not every rejection is a redirection. Sometimes a rejection is simply that and it’s not some part of a grand scheme by life. Yes, I could start my own business or consulting, but that’s not necessarily easy to whip up overnight and also does not guarantee success. Running a business is hard, arguably harder than landing another job, so it’s always an eyebrow raise when someone is so quick to just suggest that as a viable option. Also, there’s no guarantee that my next job is going to be better. It might be, but it also could be a bit of a backstep given the current market and that’s not something that anybody can predict.

Something I’d love for my friends to know is that just being here is enough and that I am not always looking for words of validation or a solution to my situation. I’m very aware of what I can do, and in most cases, I am already doing it, so just being supportive and listening is usually enough for me without all of the suggestions and comments that come with that.

In the meantime while I navigate unemployment… I decided that launching my own website could help. Whether it’s diving further into my experience for potential employers, or attracting some consulting/fractional work, this website will be dedicated to summarizing what I’ve been up to in marketing after all of these years. If you have a few minutes, I would be grateful for you to check out https://tyrellcromoshuk.com/ and let me know what you think. I’m still working on the site, so don’t judge it too harshly, but I think it gets the point across as it currently stands.