So this is something that I debated on writing about… but I feel like it would be an injustice not to highlight the issues with what happened. This blog cost me a job opportunity last week.

I had been interviewing for a Head of Marketing role with a parent company that has been around for 30+ years and is very well established, as they look to launch an entirely new brand next year. Initial calls had gone well, and I was scheduled to meet with the CEO & CBO for 3 hours to discuss my experience, watch a presentation on the upcoming brand and brainstorm the product launch. Leading up to the interview, they rescheduled it once and then cancelled it ‘due to unexpected conflicts’. I would then receive a phone call last Friday to explain that the conflict was my blog.

I had been removed from consideration for the role because their HR personnel had found my blog and disagreed with my writings. The feedback I received was that:

– My personal life should remain private and should not be discussed online

– Men should not be open about their emotions online and my vulnerability was not indicative of having an ability to lead

– They do not feel like I would be an effective individual to manage a team based on my blog posts about dealing with anxiety, anger, etc.

This was extremely upsetting feedback to receive as it basically was stating that I am being discriminated against because of my freedom of speech. On top of that, it was telling me that I should be ashamed for writing about my life experiences and that instead, they should remain private. My blog has been a source of therapy for me to organize my thoughts, as well as dive into the experiences I’ve dealt with in life to find the lessons to improve myself upon. I write about mental health topics that I experience all the time; dealing with anxiety, overcoming anger, and how to process and move beyond sadness. This has always been with the purpose of trying to become a better individual (and leader). I’ve also received a ton of feedback from others that by being open and vulnerable, it’s helped them see new perspectives or make them feel a little less alone since we all go through similar trials in life that can feel extremely isolating at times. It’s why I have been working on writing a book for the last 6 months to increase the number of people I can potentially reach.

Also, let’s just highlight a real problem in today’s society; men are conditioned to hide their emotions. We’re supposed to be the ‘alphas’ that are resilient, strong and stoic. Apparently, that means we’re not supposed to cry, get upset, or express our feelings as those are signs of weakness and signals that we aren’t capable of having others depend on us. This needs to end now. I want to propose a wild theory: Men who are empathetic and in touch with their emotions might actually be better leaders. That means they care about their team, their coworkers, and the well-being of the company. That means they are more thoughtful with their decisions. That means they are self-aware of their own shortcomings and can make sure to collaborate with others to fill those gaps.

With June being Men’s mental health month, I want to raise awareness that this type of behaviour is not going to be acceptable from people or companies. Personally, I can’t envision wanting to work in an environment that perpetuates toxic behaviour like this and tries to condemn me for expressing my emotions. I want a company that accepts their staff for who they are and supports them to be the best versions of themselves. Trying to turn this experience into a positive, I think I dodged a bullet because clearly their core beliefs do not align with mine and that’s something I’d rather find out now.

In the meantime since they loved my blog so much, they’re now a part of it.