The Unofficial Guide to Being an Adult

A book about trying to become an adult without pretending anyone has the official guide.

The book is the long-form version of this site: part memoir, part reflection, part practical life guide for the emotional parts of adulthood.

Growing up is realizing that the adults we think know everything, actually don't. I've realized that adulthood is less about having the answers and more about learning how to stay honest with yourself while life keeps asking you harder questions.

This book has grown out of publishing blogs for over a decade about love, work, grief, purpose, confidence, friendship, family, and all the dumb little ways that I've gotten in my own way. By no means is it a playbook for your life, but more so a companion for trying to navigate the messy middle.

I try to keep a reflective tone that's useful, sometimes funny, and allergic to pretending that I have it all figured out.

Who it is for

  • 1For the person who keeps wondering why adulthood has been harder than the brochure implied
  • 2For anyone trying to make sense of heartbreak, unemployment, grief, family, personal confidence, boundaries, or their purpose
  • 3For adults who like the strange comfort of reading about someone else's life mess - kind of like reality TV, but in book form

Working chapter and topic map

These are the current working titles & topics for the book.

  1. 01Nothing MattersPurpose & Personal Growth
  2. 02Validate Yo' Damn SelfMental Health & Self-Worth
  3. 03Toxic Dating HabitsDating & Heartbreak
  4. 04Getting Over a Broken HeartDating & Heartbreak
  5. 05Balancing Work With LifeWork, Ambition & Unemployment
  6. 06Figuring Out Life's PurposePurpose & Personal Growth
  7. 07Miscellaneous Dating TipsDating & Heartbreak
  8. 08Stop Getting In Your Own WayMental Health & Self-Worth
  9. 09Being EnoughMental Health & Self-Worth
  10. 10DeathGrief & Mortality
  11. 11NanaGrief & Mortality
  12. 12Surviving a Global PandemicLife Notes
  13. 13Setting and Respecting BoundariesBoundaries
  14. 14Managing Friendships As You Get OlderFriendship & Family
  15. 15Success & FailureWork, Ambition & Unemployment
  16. 16How To Be An AdultPurpose & Personal Growth

In Development

I finished the book back in 2022, but I've committed to revisiting it with fresh eyes this year and sprucing it up so it's primed for your reading pleasure. More to come on this! I'll provide updates via the Newsletter, as well as here when I have them.

Coming Soon

I plan on providing a sample chapter or two to give you a preview of how I've expanded the blog into long form. It'll be a small taste of what I hope is one of your better reads.

Representation and publishing

The project is open to representation, but not actively seeking at this time. For publishing, rights, or editorial conversations, use the agent/publisher inquiry path.

Start an agent/publisher inquiry

Read the essays behind it

The book grows out of public essays from the archive. The best way to get a feel for the voice is to wander through the essays themselves.

Browse the essay archive

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